• Rachel Chantry
    Where are all the Sour Patch Parents?
    June 9 at 10:35pm · Privacy:· ·
    • Kaia Hodgson, Aj Heaps, Kimber Dixon and 4 others like this.
      • Ashley Wiltse ha no kidding right? the kids had to come from somewhere... lol
        June 9 at 10:38pm ·
      • Jay Miller ‎...they died...
        June 9 at 11:09pm ·
      • Rebecca Ashburn there's no way sour patch kids are orphans.
        June 9 at 11:45pm ·
      • Ben Wear Well, we eat them all . . . so what does that say about us. Haha!
        June 10 at 5:43am ·
      • Aj Heaps I ate them! :D
        June 10 at 7:33am · · 1 person
      • Rachel Chantry I thought it was probably you Aj. ;p
        June 10 at 10:58am ·
      • Kent Lloyd Actually the father was a fruit and the mother was a sour puss, soI don't know what happened to the mother, but the father was delicious
        June 10 at 2:04pm · · 1 person
      • Ben Wear Such candid voicing of wrong doings cannot help improve this conversation. Haha.
        June 10 at 5:12pm ·
      • Aj Heaps I mean, it wouldn't quite be cannibalism because they're not human. If it's not cannibalism, then no harm done, right?
        June 10 at 8:38pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Well since no one has a problem with eating curly-haired, colorful children, I don't see the big issue with admitting you enjoyed consuming their parents as well...
        June 11 at 12:05am ·
      • Aj Heaps ‎...we have problems.
        June 11 at 6:33am ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa i think that is against the constitutional rights of the so called sour patch people...Equal Rights people...equality
        June 11 at 6:36am · · 1 person
      • Rachel Chantry what's against their rights? Being eaten?
        June 11 at 9:40am ·
      • Ben Wear Everything in this conversation is against their rights. Come on Rachel, get with the civil rights movement. In addition, I do not think that "Sour Patch" is politically correct. We should probably be using the term "Acerbic Territory" . . . or possibly "Bitter Plot of Land".
        June 11 at 10:07am ·
      • Rachel Chantry um... I think I agree with Aj. We have problems
        June 11 at 10:27am ·
      • Ben Wear Nope . . . just you . . . and maybe AJ.
        June 11 at 10:29am ·
      • Aj Heaps Yuri, there's a reason humans aren't coated in sugar. If the sour patch kids weren't born to be eaten, they wouldn't have been made to taste so good. And Ben, thanks for throwing us under a bus you jerk. :D
        June 11 at 11:17am ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa have you ever had a human? have you ever heard of Sweeney Todd? apparently they are good...so does that mean we might be made for eating...and I saw no bus...
        June 11 at 11:19am ·
      • Ben Wear AJ . . . I don't know why being coated in sugar makes a difference, and I guess I can take the blame for the bus bit, but I didn't "throw" you under . . . I just didn't tell you it was coming. Hahaha.
        Yuri, I have never had a human, but I can't speak for AJ, who seems to be speaking from some sort of sick, dillusional, twisted experience. (Maybe he helped a cannibalistic serial killer?) I do suppose that Sweeney Todd would be able to comment on that, but I haven't spoken to him personally. The reason you saw no bus is because I distracted you from the scene of carnage that was to play out.
        June 11 at 11:25am ·
      • Rachel Chantry ‎... question- You guys do remember we're talking about candy, right?
        June 11 at 1:07pm · · 1 person
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa wait, what?
        June 11 at 10:26pm ·
      • Ben Wear Of course, Rachel. But since everything ELSE has rights, I figured it was about due time for "candy" to start getting rights.
        June 12 at 7:19am ·
      • Ben Wear I must ask, Yuri, what you are questioning?
        June 12 at 7:20am ·
      • Aj Heaps Yeah, Ben. I can't wait to see a sour patch kids union go on strike because they're receiving less benefits than the sweetish fish.
        June 12 at 3:24pm · · 2 people
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa i didn't know we were talking about candy
        June 12 at 4:39pm ·
      • Ben Wear Hahaha! Oh AJ! I would pay big bucks to see that. Do tell, if you happen upon any instances of that happening.
        Yuri, I am sorry that you didn't know that we were talking about candy.
        June 12 at 9:12pm ·

  • --- The real humor on this one starts about half-way down. ---

    Alex Jennings
    I love how I am no longer in the BYU 1st Stake 8th Ward but our name changed to "Provo Utah Young Single Adult 1st Stake, 1st Ward". Booya!
    And new calling: "Dating Committee Co-chair."
    April 17 at 4:40pm · ·
    • You, Ruth Ng, Aj Heaps and 4 others like this.
      • Melody Splattstoesser thats horrible...a dating committee
        April 17 at 4:43pm ·
      • Alex Jennings They might as well write me a ticket for not dating enough, haha.
        April 17 at 4:44pm ·
      • Alex Jennings But I'm excited, it'll be awesome!
        April 17 at 4:44pm ·
      • Melody Splattstoesser lol
        April 17 at 4:44pm ·
      • Glenn Franklin Does dating committee co-chair equal ward matchmaker?
        April 17 at 4:45pm ·
      • Sarah Klopp oh wow that's a real committee??
        April 17 at 4:46pm ·
      • Alex Jennings like matchmaker meets activity committee
        April 17 at 4:46pm · · 1 person
      • Aj Heaps Match maker, match maker, make me a match!
        April 17 at 4:48pm · · 1 person
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa You are the matchmaking Yenta...I didn't know that was even a calling...and what's up with the super long ward and stake names...right now I'm in the Provo Utah Young Single Adult 9th Stake in the Provo Utah Young Single Adult 128th ward...ridiculous...
        April 17 at 5:00pm ·
      • Alex Jennings New protocol. Student wards are a thing of the past
        April 17 at 5:00pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry lol So... is your calling a hint or a congratulations?
        April 17 at 5:01pm ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa I know student wards are of the past...but could the name be any longer...how am I supposed to fit that in that little box of the tithing envelope...
        April 17 at 5:02pm · · 1 person
      • Aj Heaps ‎1 mm pens ought to do the trick.
        April 17 at 5:04pm · · 1 person
      • Alex Jennings you mean .05 mm pens
        April 17 at 5:09pm ·
      • Aj Heaps Oh, why stop there. Let's use .01 mm pens.
        April 17 at 5:34pm ·
      • Alex Jennings I'd kill for one of those.
        April 17 at 5:42pm ·
      • Alex Jennings Well...I guess you'd just have to dip a hair in ink, and there you go!
        April 17 at 5:43pm ·
      • Aj Heaps Perfect. We can start a new company and call it "hair-pens", not to be confused with hairpins, and make a killing off of these pens. Now, whose hair are we going to use...?
        April 17 at 5:45pm · · 2 people
      • Rachel Chantry I've heard that French hair is very fine... Know any French people with harvestable hair?
        April 17 at 5:59pm · · 1 person
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa well depends...girls hair is longer so you can make several pens out of those...and I do have really fine tipped pens...for drawing...but still, the names are too long...I don't want to have to put that much effort...
        April 17 at 6:33pm ·
      • Aj Heaps So all we need is a french chick who will sell her hair for money. Does that make her a hoe?
        April 18 at 9:52am ·
      • Alex Jennings Or, to save on postage, we can buy it from fancy French hair salons. One salon's trash is a pen-maker's treasure!
        April 18 at 10:20am ·
      • Aj Heaps But where are we going to find a fancy French salon here in Provo? We'll have to import.
        April 18 at 10:55am ·
      • Alex Jennings We should get it smuggled
        April 18 at 10:58am ·
      • Rachel Chantry Hmm. But that won't save on postage...
        April 18 at 11:37am ·
      • Alex Jennings Then we'll have them put in a box and put that box in a bigger box and then send it to us!
        April 18 at 12:02pm ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa smuggling could work...I know people that are in France and some that are just going for the summer...we should use our connections...and it will definitely not make her a hoe...I could see your argument for calling her a ho, but I think you've gone to far when you call her a tool used for tilling the ground...that's a bit too much AJ
        April 18 at 12:04pm ·
      • Aj Heaps That was a bit too much, calling her a gardening tool. My bad. And Alex, it's just not the same putting it inside a box, then putting it inside of another box, then having it shipped if your not going to smash it with a hammer.
        April 18 at 12:46pm · · 1 person
      • Rachel Chantry Wait! I think I know a French girl, but she's going back home after finals so we'll have to move quick. We may have to put HER in a box and put that box in another box, or her screams might attract unwanted attention... Or better yet, does anybody have a fancy potion to turn her into a llama?
        April 18 at 12:50pm ·
      • Aj Heaps Invite her over for dinner, I think I have just the thing. Oh, and leave your henchmen at home, they tend to get in the way.
        April 18 at 12:57pm ·
      • Alex Jennings I'll bring a hammer for smashing the box.
        April 18 at 12:59pm ·
      • Aj Heaps So we'll mail the French woman who is turned into a llama, take her out ofthe box, shave her bare, smash the box, then use the hair to get filthy rich. I like it.
        April 18 at 1:33pm ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa but remember, I am the person that birthed this idea...if it wasn't for me, then there would be no enterprise...so i get most of the profits, and to ensure that, I will have to turn some of YOU into llamas...or maybe frogs...I've heard they can sing bluesy and jazzy tunes like black people, so you might enjoy it... :D ... Rachel can be my Kronk...
        April 18 at 9:43pm ·
      • Aj Heaps I call Pacha.
        April 18 at 10:06pm ·
      • Alex Jennings So Yuri is Yzma, Rachel is Kronk, AJ is Pacha, and I'm...the old guy who threw off the Emperor's groove?
        April 18 at 10:13pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry What? I'm the idiot sidekick who messes everything up? Come on. I'm totally Pacha's wife... Or maybe not, if Aj is Pacha...
        April 18 at 10:16pm ·
      • Alex Jennings Pacha's wife is one of the coolest characters. There you go.
        April 18 at 10:17pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Hmm Alex, I can totally see you as one of Pacha's kids...
        April 18 at 10:19pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Or the squirel!
        April 18 at 10:19pm ·
      • Alex Jennings Haha, that's what I totally thought at first too. His kids are sweet and that squirrel is awesome
        April 18 at 10:20pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Much better choices. You wouldn't want to be known as an old man who throws off people grooves. ... I feel like we've gotten off-topic a bit here...
        April 18 at 10:21pm ·
      • Alex Jennings Your classic FB status hijacking.
        April 18 at 10:22pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry We should bring Jimmer into it somehow, may get it onto ESPN... Oooh! I bet Jimmer has harvestable hair. Now THAT we could sell...
        April 18 at 10:24pm ·
      • Alex Jennings we could put it in wands and sell them to wizards and witches
        April 18 at 10:24pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Sure! Pen-tips for muggles and wand cores for wizards, as everyone knows wizardfolk use quills
        April 18 at 10:28pm ·
      • Rachel Chantry Haha! Connection: Yzma = Snape!
        April 18 at 10:39pm · · 1 person
      • Aj Heaps Does that make Harry Kuzko? He does look like a llama.
        April 18 at 10:50pm ·
      • Yuri Patricio Cabeza Pezoa wait...then Ron would be kind of like Pacha...I bet Jimmer's hair would have magical powers...i bet you he is a wizard, too...
        April 18 at 11:56pm ·