Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
Showing posts with label quote. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quote. Show all posts
Monday, April 16, 2012
On Faith
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Recent LOL and SRB moments
I'd like to share a few things that recently made me laugh out loud and smile real big.
A fantastic quote from a strange boy who has a youtube channel: "Oh, that new Lady Gaga song... it was like Madonna and the devil had a baby and that baby would not. stop. crying!"
The reviews on this site for Movies 8 Theater.
After blues dancing with some friends one evening, I had this experience which I then posted on Overheard @ BYU 's facebook page. It now has 150 likes.
"At Alpine Village, guy on the top floor talking into a megaphone, 'Dude! Get out of your car and walk her to her door!'"
This blog. Holy Cow this blog. Finish swallowing anything you might be eating/drinking and go to a room that allows noise before you read any of his posts, because you will burst out laughing and not be able to stop. It Just Gets Stranger.
A fantastic quote from a strange boy who has a youtube channel: "Oh, that new Lady Gaga song... it was like Madonna and the devil had a baby and that baby would not. stop. crying!"
A few different pictures:
Sweet song and video about improving the world by spreading 10 second good deeds- One Day.
A cover of Half of My Heart that is striking in multiple ways.
One of those rare scenes from Flight of the Conchords that is both hilarious and clean:
Epic song and band I am now in love with - Celtic Thunder.
You're welcome.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
The Epic-ness of Us *Updated*
*Updated from the original post on 3/11/2011. More quotes added to the end*
I just spent a few hours dancing, eating lunch, and chatting with a very pleasant friend of mine.
The topics of conversation were varied. Some of the discussions were about:
- super-gluing and bleaching spiders
- the dangerous, upsetting nature of food
- "Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really don't like you..."
- the 411 on how to deny stress
- the murderous nature of hot water to some hard-backed creatures- but Asians love it
- french-kissing an ant
- "too many midgets"
- eating tomatoes like apples
- you can't have a fly for a pet
- Psych is the West Coast of tv shows
- "I feel like AJ right now!"
- Ooh, that one! I hate that one!
- But why orange? Orange isn't a color. It compliments, only.
- "I told him you're fine with it."
"With what?"
"Going to Wal-Mart before dancing."
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine with that."
"... Thank you for re-affirming what I already said." - 'We beat Stephen' *cue sing-song voice and funky, victory dance*
- Who's that dancing with the banana?
- Go AJ!
- "What do you think of this one?"
"Actually, I think I hate it." - Watching open is like watching a bunch of Skittles dance."
- He's more twisty than a pretzel!
- *Aaaaye don't liiiike o-ran-ge-ehs*
- Powerade tastes like laxative.
- That's rude!
- I like that couple, because they're married, and that's nifty.
- ... I would like it. And it would probably end with them sucking on my toes.
- ... Excuse me sir, you have a banana.
- What if you were stuck in the sewer and couldn't get out? - I would have myself a tasty soup.
- What if we all had 6 toes growing from our elbows? - We would all look like old grandpas.
- What if Jimmer was a golfer instead? - I would move in with your mom instead.
- ...Geico would save you 15% or more in car insurance.
- What if there was an earthquake and you were stuck with JB and he made a move on you? - I would take a bite out of them!
- ... I would like it... then, maybe not.
- What if the hills were alive with the sound of "Friday, Friday." - We would burn them down.
- "I wasn't chewing them up... I was just sucking on them for a bit."
- "Oh, my giant blue head!"
- "Oh, yeah that's funny. That random 'she' friend was ME."
- But I'm still reliable!
- Hmm, pudding... yeah, I'm thirsty.
- What gain comes from stomping on slugs?
- Hey man look at my new dog! - Oh yeah, that's pretty cool- Aaaah! There's no dog there. Oooohhhh - Aaaahhh...
- There's something on your face? *punch* It was pain!
- *Camel laugh*
- Oh, they're gonna do that, but it didn't show it.
- And we thought; sad.
- "eeeeeeeeeeeeee"
- Hyperbole and a Half blog
- "Aaaahhh... "
"There is no __ there!" - *vacant stare* Oh, no. I was just noticing that Kimber's foot is basically massaging my breadsticks..."
- "James ?" -Argh! What?! What do you want from me?!
- "Admit it, I'm pretty bad."
"Well... I'll admit you're decently bad." - Gr-urk-ah-br-ngh-gasp-akgr-blgr...Brain freeze!
- Come on, French people can't lasso!
- Hey, why can't I be a stone pig with horns?
- Is that how they used to tell if someone was dead? Drown them?
- Her head is always tilted to the right.
It's because of the earring. - Aaaaaehhhhhh... dead? or sleeping...?
- "Bla, bla, Toms, bla, I'm awesome, bla bla, Toms, Toms, Bla."
"Well, I got these at Shopco for $3."
"..."
"Good." - They're like eating happiness. And the happiness is all gone!
- Well these have stupid, little pictures on them too, why not just get these?
- James, what is this? I feel like I'm being possessed!
- This just in - I'm Awesome!
- "Why are we friends?!"
"You're not my friend. You need me." - Homegirl totes cray-cray.
- *text chain* R: You're late. J: Lol. No i'm not... R: Well you arent here J: Yes i am... R: ... where? J: Umm...here of course R: >:P Let me know when you get to 278 then J: I'm already there...
- I have a village of muffins in my fridge.
- *both simultaneously out of several minutes of silence* doo doooo, doo doooo, doo doo doooo doooo...
- Crunchy leaves are like steak...
- ...they probably outlaw it because ducky has too many brothers and sisters.
- mm^hmm.
- "Why do I always assume your father was eaten by that cat?"
"Ooh, that's no good!"
"It happens." - Suit up!
- Run forest run! This makes me nervous for you... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
- A large, noisy Brazilian with food smelling strongly of bbq has taken over our table.
The table is under attack by an army of dwarves. - "Are you dead?"
"Yes. But I'll be there in a sec." - No it's not- shut up.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Million Dollar Punctuation
Compare:
Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy---will you let me be yours?
Jane
VS.
Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn. For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Jane
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
What the Digamma?
Polyphloisboisterous Homer of old
Threw all his augments into the sea,
Although he had often been courteously told
That perfect imperfects begin with an e.
But the poet replied with a dignified air,
"What the Digamma does any one care?"
- Schoder & Horrigan, A Reading Course in Homeric Greek II, 184
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Alone Together
I guess we all feel it sometimes.
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."
~Albert Einstein
"It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely."
~Albert Einstein
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Some of the best conversations...
... happen over the silliest things and make no sense at all.
Rachel Chantry
- --- The real humor on this one starts about half-way down. ---
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