Unlocking Incompetence

I've come to dislike every situation that should be normal. Mostly because, for me, things really just can't be normal.
When people walk up to their door, they pull out their key, unlock the door, and enter their house. Right? I mean, nothing can really go wrong with that except, perhaps, realizing you don't have your key with you or having to set a grocery back down because you haven't enough hands.
But like I said, with me normal things aren't normal. I always have the biggest trouble getting my key out and the door unlocked.
Imagine, if you will, this small part of my life that so personifies my existence.
You set your backpack down beside you and pull out your keys. As you straightened, unlocking the doorknob, your backpack tips sideways.
But of course, you're ignorant enough that you keep your keys in the same pouch as your pens, pencils, and other tiny objects. And you're even so lacking in common sense that you didn't zip the pouch back up after retrieving said keys. So of course, because it can, your backpack tips sideways, spilling all of your things.
And yes, you live at the top of the stairs. So yes, of course, they all fall through the cracks of the stairs, several stories, spread all over the ground and stairway. You run about trying to quickly pick them all up so you don't look like a complete fool (failing in the process) and finally get them all gathered and shoved back into your bag. Gasping from the frantic running up and down stairs, groaning in frustration, and thoroughly disgusted with yourself, you snatch up all your things and rush into...
the door. Face first. Of course. Because you unlocked the knob, but the drawn bolt is still restricting entrance.
The only redeemable thing about the whole experience, is that it would be hilarious to watch. Too bad I don't have a mini recorder following me around. I could have my own slap-stick comedy show.

"Key to the city? Key to my car? Tic-tac?" *zzzzap*