Carsten's voicemail was hilarious. I'm not even sure it was him. Sounded more like dad. It was all "Uh... yeah... So, you missed Carsten. You know, some days are lucky days, and other days aren't so lucky days..." It didn't make any sense and was really goofy and had lots of background noise. Then, the annoying operator lady's voice came on with a sort of 'disclaimer' that I've never heard before! She was all "If you would like to disconnect, press one. If you still wish to leave a message for this person, press two."
HAHA!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Useful Animals
Two neighbors, Bill and Jerry, had each recently gotten dogs. Bill bought a German Shepherd and Jerry had decided on a Chihuahua. As they were walking their dogs together one day, they decided to stop for a drink. Bill steered them over to his favorite bar, but Jerry protested.
"They won't let us in with the dogs!"
But Bill just grinned. "Sure they will, just follow my lead."
He walked into the bar and gave an order.
"We don't allow dogs in here." The bartender said.
"Not even seeing-eye-dogs?"
"Oh! Sorry. Of course- here you are." He said, and handed Bill his drink.
Impressed, Jerry also entered and placed an order. The bartender sighed.
"We don't allow dogs!"
"Not even seeing-eye-dogs?"
"But that's a chihuahua!" The bartender protested.
"What?! They gave me a chihuahua?!"
"They won't let us in with the dogs!"
But Bill just grinned. "Sure they will, just follow my lead."
He walked into the bar and gave an order.
"We don't allow dogs in here." The bartender said.
"Not even seeing-eye-dogs?"
"Oh! Sorry. Of course- here you are." He said, and handed Bill his drink.
Impressed, Jerry also entered and placed an order. The bartender sighed.
"We don't allow dogs!"
"Not even seeing-eye-dogs?"
"But that's a chihuahua!" The bartender protested.
"What?! They gave me a chihuahua?!"
Sharing humor
I have a ton of different quotes, jokes, experiences, etc. I want to share. Mostly from my religion (D&C) class, but also because I just haven't gotten around to posting anything much, lately.
My D&C Professor- Bro. Walsh- is hilarious. He tells a lot of random stories and jokes, but still manages to teach something with it, even if it doesn't exactly apply to the previous subject matter.
The first thing he said to us, told us to write it down and he got this serious look on his face, was "There is more to life than school. Chill!" But a few minutes later he did say, "Everyday is a class period- we need to take notes. This life is an education experience."
He likes to share jokes or funny stories at the beginning of each class. He's shown us 'The truth according to 7yr olds' stories, Darwin Awards, Memorable Epitaphs, and You know you're old when... (everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work, etc.).
One he said is- "My son was having a hard time getting up when he was a teenager. My wife put a mousetrap on top of his snooze button. I don't recall her ever complaining about it after that."
Another time he said, "There are three kinds of people- Optimists, pessimists, and improvers. And while that's true, sometimes there are days when enduring well just means you got out of bed."
Here's one- "Would the ocean be deeper if there weren't sponges in it?"
Or- "Our Father in Heaven is a God of humor. He's said, men are that they might have joy! Will the Gods tell jokes to each other? Sure!... But they probably don't laugh, because they already know the punchlines."
He quoted Pres. Hinckley who, speaking to the missionaries at the MTC, said, "Well, you're not much to look at, but you're all we've got. I guess we'll use you."
Just today he said "Here's a joke I made up- If Lot's wife was trembling as she looked back, does that make her the first salt shaker?" And after we all chuckled, "Okay, okay. Stop it!"
Whenever someone else in the class says something funny, or people laugh, he gets all mock-upset and insists "You're not funny- I'm funny!" or "Stop being happy- this is a religion class. You're not supposed to have fun!"
On a more spiritual side, his greatest point that he emphasizes the most is that "There is a lot more hope in this plan than we give it credit. God is all powerful, and we underestimate how much he is going to help us, how great his mercy is."
He said defined the different answers you get from asking the Lord a question. He said that a 'right' answer is that you feel peaceful. No anxiety or anything. It just feels right. Whereas the other, rather than just being a 'stupor of thought' ("sometimes not thinking is peaceful!"), it's the opposite of peace- confusion, anxiety, frustration, indecision. And that helped me a lot. Because I've been confused a lot on how to tell the difference between peace and 'stupid thoughts' (which I have all the time).
I'll probably post other quotes or stories from him. He says a lot of good ones. But I think this post is already long enough.
---
A short note on my Astronomy teacher- Prof. Moody. He's also pretty great. Not quite as funny, but still quite a good teacher and he tends to throw in random comments that just crack me up. Like yesterday, he said he was quite tired and, with about a half hour left in our 2hr period, he began going off on this tangent about science movies he really doesn't like (namely Armageddon), and how, if he wasn't an astronomer or geologist, he'd be a movie critic. lol It was great.
---
My D&C Professor- Bro. Walsh- is hilarious. He tells a lot of random stories and jokes, but still manages to teach something with it, even if it doesn't exactly apply to the previous subject matter.
The first thing he said to us, told us to write it down and he got this serious look on his face, was "There is more to life than school. Chill!" But a few minutes later he did say, "Everyday is a class period- we need to take notes. This life is an education experience."
He likes to share jokes or funny stories at the beginning of each class. He's shown us 'The truth according to 7yr olds' stories, Darwin Awards, Memorable Epitaphs, and You know you're old when... (everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work, etc.).
One he said is- "My son was having a hard time getting up when he was a teenager. My wife put a mousetrap on top of his snooze button. I don't recall her ever complaining about it after that."
Another time he said, "There are three kinds of people- Optimists, pessimists, and improvers. And while that's true, sometimes there are days when enduring well just means you got out of bed."
Here's one- "Would the ocean be deeper if there weren't sponges in it?"
Or- "Our Father in Heaven is a God of humor. He's said, men are that they might have joy! Will the Gods tell jokes to each other? Sure!... But they probably don't laugh, because they already know the punchlines."
He quoted Pres. Hinckley who, speaking to the missionaries at the MTC, said, "Well, you're not much to look at, but you're all we've got. I guess we'll use you."
Just today he said "Here's a joke I made up- If Lot's wife was trembling as she looked back, does that make her the first salt shaker?" And after we all chuckled, "Okay, okay. Stop it!"
Whenever someone else in the class says something funny, or people laugh, he gets all mock-upset and insists "You're not funny- I'm funny!" or "Stop being happy- this is a religion class. You're not supposed to have fun!"
On a more spiritual side, his greatest point that he emphasizes the most is that "There is a lot more hope in this plan than we give it credit. God is all powerful, and we underestimate how much he is going to help us, how great his mercy is."
He said defined the different answers you get from asking the Lord a question. He said that a 'right' answer is that you feel peaceful. No anxiety or anything. It just feels right. Whereas the other, rather than just being a 'stupor of thought' ("sometimes not thinking is peaceful!"), it's the opposite of peace- confusion, anxiety, frustration, indecision. And that helped me a lot. Because I've been confused a lot on how to tell the difference between peace and 'stupid thoughts' (which I have all the time).
I'll probably post other quotes or stories from him. He says a lot of good ones. But I think this post is already long enough.
---
A short note on my Astronomy teacher- Prof. Moody. He's also pretty great. Not quite as funny, but still quite a good teacher and he tends to throw in random comments that just crack me up. Like yesterday, he said he was quite tired and, with about a half hour left in our 2hr period, he began going off on this tangent about science movies he really doesn't like (namely Armageddon), and how, if he wasn't an astronomer or geologist, he'd be a movie critic. lol It was great.
---
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mother's Day
"A mother is a person who, seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie."
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
"A good mother lets her children lick cake batter off the beater. A great mother turns it off first."
"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young."
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."
Thank you mum!
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
"A good mother lets her children lick cake batter off the beater. A great mother turns it off first."
"Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young."
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge."
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.
"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."
Thank you mum!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
No One
I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?
And I ask myself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
and I tell myself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me...
You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feelin' like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?
And you ask yourself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
Gotta tell yourself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me
-
No One, Aly&AJ
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?
And I ask myself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
and I tell myself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me...
You are moving through the crowd
Trying to find yourself
Feelin' like a doll left on a shelf
Will someone take you down?
And you ask yourself
Who do I wanna be?
Do I wanna throw away the key?
and invent a whole new me
Gotta tell yourself
No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me
-
No One, Aly&AJ
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