And life goes on...

It's weird; life. Time and age and all those things that are so very, very present in the world, so very important. Always moving, always changing, but always there. And yet how easy it is to forget.

I just had my 21st birthday. I'm an official adult. Time has gone by so quickly, and I don't feel like I should be a legal adult. I guess I'm competent enough. But still. On my birthday I had a strong desire to eat ice cream for breakfast, jump on my bed, and watch Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers. So much for growing up. Life moves on, but I feel rather left behind.

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
-Chili Davis

And just today, not even a week after my birthday and all these rubbish 'getting old, coming of age' thoughts, I became an aunt! My first nephew (no nieces yet). Just as I'm thinking "where'd my childhood go?" A little kid pops in and gets to start the journey himself.

Blows me away. I'm not sure I can express it.

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Sort of... like a forest. If you've ever seen a brand new forest, or an artificial or well-logged one, it's not nearly as impressive or majestic as one that's been around for a long time. The really great forests have huge, ancient trees, that have been there for a long time. But there are also a lot of medium and small trees. And thousands of ivy, vines, bushes, moss, shoots, etc. The growth and diversity is everywhere.

And they build on each other, giving to each other. They cycle through, growing, living their life, moving on. They seem so willing to share: the moss under the rocks and on the tree bark, ivy and vines climbing up and twisting around every available, space bushes upon bushes growing up, sideways, over and under. They all have some place they can fit, searching for those stray shafts of sunlight. When a tree or plant dies, it drops back into the ground, where the next tree or plant comes along and uses those necessary nourishment and vitamins to grow.

I'd like to think I'm a fair-sized tree in the forest. I've worked and fought for a strong place with sunlight. And maybe, as I live and grow and cycle through seasons, I can provide leaves and support and shelter for others. I'd like to give birds a rest in my branches, moss and ivy a trunk upon which to grow, little animals and budding flowers shelter from harsh weather. Maybe I can share and protect and boost that little nephew of mine as he experiences this amazing world of ours.

And now I feel ostentatiously sentimental. Still....

*tags to: Time and The Bridge Builder

when they disappoint

It's hard when you're disappointed. When you, or someone you know, underperforms. When you get very invested into something or someone, and are let down. When you realize that you've been expecting way too much and it's never going to happen. When you thought something was secure and then the slightest quake makes you see that the foundation you believed you were standing on is weak and falling away beneath you. When all the 'try, try agains' leave you with too many tries, no more agains, and no success in sight. When the mountain you were climbing turns out to be a downward-moving escalator and you're back at the beginning.
So, get off.
You can't take back those moments and investments. You can't undo all that effort and care. You can't save something that's not there.
Why should you?
Move on. Some things aren't worth all that worry. Accept the change, the misfortune. And then try again with the next. Those moments and efforts still happened, and they weren't completely for naught. You enjoyed it while it lasted. You learned along the way. It's the journey, not the roadblocks, that matters.
Just don't get stuck focusing back at the top of that downward-moving escalator. Get off, move on. Go find an elevator.

In my opinion.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

"Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it." -Eliza Tabor

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments — but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken." -Paulo Coelho